"I am struggling with... "

Dear T,

            Thank you for writing to us.  We are praying for you.  Yes, what you are saying does make sense. (Your message to us is on the bottom of this letter.)   We seem to understand your situation.  Thank you for being honest in communicating it!! 

Please see our notes interspersed within your message.  Practical help is listed throughout this letter. Please let us know if this is helpful, if you have any other questions or concerns, and if we can help in any other way.  You Are Very Valuable, and Never beyond the reach of the Hand of God as long as you have breath!  Please contact us again, for we want to hear from you.  

Soon we will be printing a page on the spiritual war each human is engaged in.  It was written for you and for many others who are going through the torture of living in this world of flesh and spirit and to give them “sight” and enable them to live in victory and joy here and now.  We will be posting answers on the “Your Questions” page of NeedHope.Net as they come up, so can view that too.  

Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the Word of His servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the Name of the LORD and rely on his God. Isaiah 50:10 

I am struggling with so many things I don’t know were to begin.  

            God agrees with you!  “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12    There is a very real struggle and war in this life.  The Big Picture outlines it, and so does World Violence

            Jesus the Christ came to demolish the strongholds that cause the struggles in our lives.  “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.” 2 Corinthians 10:4-6     Jesus, the Word of God (Jn 1), is our weapon for success in this war.  “Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 6:17

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."  Romans 12:2 "For who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct Him?" But we have the mind of Christ."  1 Corinthians 2:16    Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.  1 Peter 1:13

            Use your mind, read the Word of God daily out loud to yourself.  Listen to the Word of God daily on the radio.  Faith comes by hearing the Word of God.  And with increased faith, God can live through you more easily so your joy will be full!!    

"The core of it is selfishness."

Yes, you are right.  Selfishness causes many struggles.  Selfishness is sin, which is where much pain comes from.  Sin causes pain.  Sin is disobedience to God.  Disobedience to God is very painful and that is why God commands us to obey Him, so we do not get ourselves into what we were not designed for.  That is why the Fear of the Lord brings understanding and wisdom.   And He said to man, 'The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.' "  Job 28:28

But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."  Joshua 24:15               

Who do you serve?  What do you bow down to?  Will you give it to Jesus to handle?  Will you surrender to Jesus, confessing your sin with complete accountability for it, and then turn away from it constantly??   Will you replace Jesus for every need and desire you perceive you have?  You can do it this way>> 

Fast, Pray, and Feed

Fast from what destroys your soul, fast from what feeds your selfishness and pride, fast from sin and sinful people, culture, and situations. Ezra 8:23  (So we fasted and petitioned our God about this, and He answered our prayer.)  To fast means to just stop doing it.  

Pray to God, talk with God, using His Word in your conversation with Him for your own edification, wisdom, strength, and courage.  1 Thessalonians 5:17  Talk to God about everything, with your heart, emotion, mind, etc, and be still and listen to his response in your thoughts (that seem better than your own), in your situation (when things change for the better unexpectedly, and in your self-image which will change over time by God’s influence.  

Feed on God’s Word for your soul’s strength, direction, protection, living hope, and peace.  How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to Your Word. Psalm 119:9  Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.  Psalm 119:105   The LORD gives strength to His people; the LORD blesses His people with peace.  Psalm 29:11  Do this>  Psalm 1  

You may want to read thoroughly Deuteronomy 28. It is Very simple and clear reading.  While God is not a “rule keeper” just waiting for someone to trip up, God does command obedience.  God’s Laws are very specific.  But the greatest gift is that God gave His only begotten Son Jesus Christ as an atonement for our sin to make us ABLE to live out a life of obedience to God’s Laws!!!   “This is love for God: to obey His commands. And His commands are not burdensome,” 1 John 5:3 

            Selfishness is pride and arrogance, which is keeping yourself on the throne of your life when God is supposed to be there permanently.   What is missing?  What needs are you trying to fill that God has already planned to fill?  Instead are you are making faulty substitutes for God’s riches which were planned for you?  Are you getting in the way of God’s success for yourself, and trading God’s best for certain junk?    Do you have a short term view or an eternal view?  Do you live for physical pleasure and not for eternal destiny, pleasures and rewards?  Are you not dying to self or living for God.  

How can you live for God???  Surrender.  That’s it.  If no surrender, no life.  Only surrender to the Lord Jesus Christ and making Him your LORD and Savior can save your life.  Ponder the study listed way below.  

"I have lived for myself for so long, I don’t know how to give certain things up."    

Living for Yourself       Love for God-     Sources of Pain?

Living for yourself is the confession that you have not lived for the Living God.  This is important and good to acknowledge.  Life is not to be lived by feelings or emotions, but by deliberate will and active choice.  A runner must train and race hard to win, even more importantly must a Christian!   

Living for yourself may mean that you have never let Jesus Christ buy you for a price.  The price that Jesus paid was His shed blood on the Cross for your penalty of sin, the debt that you could not pay to His Father for each and every sin.  The debt that you and I owe to God the Father is unfathomably big and impossible for us to pay.  Do you know if your sins have or have not been paid by Jesus’ death on the cross?  Are you God’s child where no one will ever pluck you from His Hand.  Do you consider yourself your own, or Jesus’ property? 

God is not a feeling, but a fact.  A TRUTH that requires truthful reactions and accountability moment by moment (Hebrews 9:27, Matthew 12:36).   

To be unsure how to give up certain things seems natural. Our flesh is in a habit that was started long ago. It is our sin nature.  Paul spoke of this -   So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!  Romans 7:21-25

How can it be broken? By fasting and prayer.  Fasting from the evil totally.  And praying without ceasing pray (1 Thessalonians 5:17), being in a constant conversation with the living Lord Jesus Christ.  “Therefore He is able to save completely those who come to God through Him, because He always lives to intercede for them.” Hebrews 7:25  Temptation  

How can you give certain things up??  Hate the sin as God hates it.  Do not condemn yourself, but do hate the sin.   See the sin as God sees it: ugly, grotesque, perverted, depraved, and evil.  

            An illustration – when you find there are weeds growing in a garden of vegetables, you weed the plot of ground and hope that they do not grow back again.  But if you do not replace the sparse ground with vegetables or something that is not a weed, then the weeds will return. The soil of our soul is the same way.  We can root out the evil, but unless we replace it with the “filling of the Holy Spirit”  and the Word of God and with the goals and desires to live in action, word and attitude for God, and have those things take root in our heart, then it will be hard to keep the weeds out. (Matthew 13:1-29)

God says to not look backward like Lot’s wife (Genesis 19:26), but instead to stand firm for Him and grow as His child and ambassador.  When we move forward in His Truth, and substitute His Word for our dysfunctional and sinful thoughts, actions, attitudes, words, habits, etc, then we are making progress and succeeding.  We can evaluate ourselves, but more importantly we are to look to Jesus, the Author and Perfecter (Hebrews 12:2) of our faith so we continue forward through the waves and wind and continue walking on the water that we used to be drowning in.  

Acts 13:52     And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.

Acts 2:4          All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.

Acts 4:31        After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.

Ephesians 5:18         Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.

Romans 15:13           May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I’ve tried many different ways and I have yet to really be transformed by Gods power, and love.  I know he loves me...I know he has a plan for me...I just don’t know how much longer I can take this life of pain.  

You are right.  God does have great plans for you.  If you have not Committed your life to Jesus Christ based on His Redemptive Work on the Cross, let us know.  Also, read about God’s Atonement, My Room, Salvation, the Holy Spirit in God’s children, and God’s Promises

Surrender is the key to being transformed by God’s power and love.  Giving up your will and willfulness, and surrendering to doing it, whatever, God’s way.  Giving God the keys to your heart, no matter how dark you think it is, God wants it!  In fact, that is why He died, to get your sin to the cross of Jesus, have you washed in the blood of the sacrificially atonement pure and unblemished Lamb of God.  

Being obedient even when you do not feel like it WILL remove you from the enemy of your soul’s hand.  The battle will be hard because it is over your eternal soul, but since God has already won through His Son Jesus Christ, by your adhering to Jesus, you will be victorious, one moment at a time. (Romans 5:17, Romans 5:21,Romans 6:23, Romans 8:2,2 Corinthians 4:10, 2 Corinthians 4:11,2 Timothy 1:10, Hebrews 2:9)

Love for God-

When you Love God with your words, actions, attitudes, heart, soul and mind, God will come near to you and love you and give you what you need in return.  When you strive to do so, and put forth effort, that is your spiritual act of worship (Romans 12:1-2, John 4:23), and the Living Lord God will draw near to you.  It is a day to day walk, and Jesus has already won the victory.  Surrender your wants and depend upon God to give you your simple needs.  Food, clothing, shelter, and His Word.  Anything beyond that may prove to be a snare.  Rejoice in the process of being loved, strengthened, edified, corrected, taught, shown, and embraced by God.  This is the sanctification process dear child of God!  

Whoever has My commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves Me. He who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I too will love him and show Myself to him."  John 14:21            

Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. John 14:23 

For more about How to Love God, click Here.  

spiritual act of worship 

        Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1,2

        Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. John 4:23 

God enables us to obey Him.  God puts Himself into you.  God puts His Holy Spirit into you, so as you read His Word, the Bible, you can ask for wisdom, insight, and more, and you will receive it from the Living Word, Jesus Christ.  

"This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time," declares the LORD. "I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. Jeremiah 31:33  

This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time, declares the Lord. I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. Hebrews 8:10 

"This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds." Hebrews 10:16 

For more about How God Enables us to obey Him, click Here.  

God has given you many talents for His glory.  Using them with God in mind, in a relationship with the living God, and speaking of God as the giver of your gifts is giving God glory. (Matthew 25:14-46)  


Pain can come from different sources -

Discern for your own self.  note that this pain which one is yours – 

    The devil’s accusations of a Christian click Here.  

                 The unbeliever living in rebellion to the Lord God Almighty  click Here.  

                            The Holy God chastening His child to obey Him.  click Here.  

                                                Maturing the child of God  click Here.  (This will come later) 


I just don’t know how much longer I can take this life of pain.  Do NOT give up!! We are so sorry for your pain.  We understand this personally, too.  Have you asked Jesus to be your Savior and Lord?  If you did, then have you told yourself His Words that you are His Child?  Have you chosen to live for Him out of gratitude for Who He IS and for what He has done for you?   Have you confessed and acknowledge your sin and accounted to Jesus that it is of your own doing, and no one else is to blame?  Have you repented, hated your sin and the repercussion that it has caused? Have you asked Jesus the spotless Lamb of God to put it on His Cross so you would bear it no more? As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12  

Your pain is just like the pain of a dis-ease.  Even though it is spiritual pain, and maybe because it is, it may feel more painful than physical pain.  Because God knows your pain even better than anyone else, Jesus gives you an invitation with a promise.  "Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."  Matt 11:28-30  Come to Me!  

Reading about Jesus’ life, Atonement, what the Sinful Life is like that leads to Hell, and the Righteous Life that leads to heaven, and Who God may be helpful.  Casting your Cares on God personally, having God make you a New Creature, having God Create a Clean Heart in you, Cleaning you up, making you His Friend, and having you Abiding in Christ, and knowing the Holy Spirit in you, are all very important things to experience spiritually and permanently.  

"Even this is selfish.  I should embrace my struggles as part of His plan but it is so hard!"  

Well put!  It may seem selfish, but look to see: What progress have you have made by God’s Strength?  Is His Joy your strength (Nehemiah 8:10)?  Or are you defeated and dry?  Struggles do seem hard, but when we are well fed and watered by God personally, then we are given the sustenance we need to overcome life’s obstacles in Jesus’ Strength and Power.  

Go to a Bible preaching alive church. (church search engine) Go seeking Jesus and His Word and refreshment.  Allow people to minister to you.  You will find that you are also a blessing to them.  Read the Bible aloud and listen to Christian Bible teachers on the radio most of the time.  Do not care what other people think more than what God thinks.   Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. Proverbs 29:25

But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him. Luke 12:5

If you think there is little “fruit” and mostly struggle, then you may be listening to a warning that you do need to make changes in your life to reflect your love and allegiance to the living Lord Jesus Christ.   “When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me.”  Matt 28:17-20 

How can we do this?  By reading, meditating on, and ingesting God’s Word for what it is, TRUTH.   Memorize and do Psalm 1  

If Jesus had to do this, how much more do we?  (Matthew 26:36; Mark 1:35; Mark 14:32; Luke 5:16; Luke 6:12; Luke 9:18,28 ; Luke 11:1; Luke 18:1; Luke 22:39-45; John 17:1,6, 20; John 18:1)  Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' "  Matthew 4:4  He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. Deuteronomy 8:3

"Thanks for letting me vent.  My name is T, please pray for me."

We are glad that you vented.  We are grateful you vented to us!!  We vent too!!  Do you know that God says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”  James 5:16    “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9  What a blessed and powerful God we have!!  Thanks be to God for His indescribable Gift! 2 Corinthians 9:15

We are praying for you: For your strength and courage to surrender and live your life for Jesus against the stream of culture and the nature of the flesh.  Please let us know if we can be of any further help, and if these notes were helpful at all.  We would love to hear from you again! 

Ponder this brief study with your heart, mind, will and emotion.  Consider the changes in your life short term and the long term effects that can take effect.  Consider God's Word and promises that WILL come to pass because of your choices each day.  

          The Word of God, Jesus the Christ  = John 1:1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was with God in the beginning.  3Through Him all things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made.  14The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, Who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. 17grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. 18No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only, Who is at the Father's side, has made Him known. 29The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, "Look, the Lamb of God, Who takes away the sin of the world! Jn1:1-3,14,17-18, 29


Bring me to more questions

    Home Up Love for God Pain Brief StudyDoor to More 

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