Someone You Know Committed Suicide

             For those who have had someone they know and care about commit suicide - It is a horrible experience.  

 If someone you know has killed themselves, then you may be angry, hurt, and confused.  

You may feel any or all of these feelings:    

    You feel betrayed and deserted.  

            You feel abandoned and not trusted by them.  

                        You feel insulted that you were not counted worthy enough to help them through their problems.  


You feel insulted that they did not care enough about you to stay with you in life.  

        You doubt your judgment of valuing their life so much since they did not value their own life very much.  

              You feel sad and forlorn, your hopes and plans with and for that person have been destroyed by the the very person you planned for!   

                    You may be losing hope and wondering if you would do something like that. (DON'T!)


        The fact is, they committed self murder.  The last thing they did was kill themselves.  What a violent tragedy!!  It is soooo sad.....   What a waste!  What a waste of everyone's investment in that individual, to just throw away a life.  What a miserable and sorrowful disaster. 


Self Murder - 

         You want to be angry with them for murdering themselves, and yet they are your friend and you "feel" like you shouldn’t.      Yes you should be angry with them!!!      They murdered!!  And they murdered your friend!!!       If someone else murdered them, you would want that person put in jail and never let out.     But now the very one who murdered your friend IS your friend!!     How absurd, tragic and defying of heart!!! 

            Voice it, feel it, let it out, and then think about it.  


        Yes they were in pain, yes they were suffering, - but murder is never an answer.  They did not reach out.     They did not DO what they would tell anyone else to do - to LIVE!      They did not love anyone else enough to choose to be with them.      And that is part of the agony - eternal rejection of you and all that life has to offer.  

            Forgive them, but do NOT condone what they did.  

Speak to them for closure in your relationship with them, even though they cannot hear.      

    Consider their pit falls, consider how they should have continued their life and lived.      

        Consider how it should have been, and then grieve for the loss that is very real.  

            Make a decision to Never do this yourself and to make a point to not let anyone you know think it is an alternative in life.  

                   Self-murder is not an option or choice, ever, no matter what.  


            Grieve their loss as you would for anyone who died, but Never blame yourself.  No matter what role you had to play, they still made the final choice.  If you think you may have driven them there, they still had a final decision to make.  If you think you had a role in it, then go to the only One Who would know if you did, the Lord God Almighty.  "The eyes of the LORD are in every place, Keeping watch on the evil and the good."  Proverbs 15:3

            You may feel that if they did it, then it is an option for you.  NEVER think of self murder as an option.  

What is a good perspective

There used to be a joke “Mom, all the other kids are doing it!  Please mom, can I?"Dear, if everyone jumped off the bridge would you do it too?  Of course not, you’d be killing yourself.”  Well, in this culture, life is sooo undervalued, people may not think of that as a joke anymore.  The truth behind the joke is masked by this society of death which many embrace.  Do not embrace this death culture.  The Abortion, Euthanasia, Suicide, Murder, Addictive drugs that cause slow death, Immorality that causes Aids death, etc.  If you are headed in any of these areas, change your direction NOW.  God wants you to look up to Him and end up on the top


            God is not to blame.  

        He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.  Ecclesiastes 3:11  

        For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

        The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. Jeremiah 31:3  

God asks every person to “Come to Me

        God promises “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4  (“I desire to do your will, O my God; Your law is within my heart." Psalm 40:8)  

God wants Salvation from hell for you, intimate Friendship with you, and benevolent Lordship over you.  God wants you to choose Him just as you are, asking Him to clean up your heart, and having God enable and empower you to live rightly by leaning on Him directly.  

God gives free choice for every person - 

    Every person can do what is right, or they can do what is wrong.  God reveals Himself to every person who ever lived.  Every person is without excuse in knowing God and His character.  And God will judge every person at the time of their death.    Man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, Hebrews 9:27   

        Since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—His eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.  Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts ... Romans 1:19,20,24 

            Sin is a serious and deadly thing.  You can reject the word "sin", but you can never reject the effect of it.  The effect of wrong doing DOES affect everyone.  The ripple effect does not end. However, Repentance of sin, the Rejection of it and the Turning Away from it does majorly help to Eradicate the effects of sin and does Heal the pain caused by sin.   Sin is very specific


If you are living with guilt, shame, and blame:  These links may help you.  

Repent, Create in me a new heart, Commandments

You may feel that if they did it, then it is an option for you.  NEVER think of self murder as an option.  

What is a good perspective

 You were Designed and Created.  God desires to adopt you, so be born of God.  God gives lasting Hope, and Everlasting Love.  We each have a choice with repercussions and consequences which receive in this life and after we die.  We can choose right to end up well, or choose wrong and be eternally alive to regret it 

Have questions?  Contact us.


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